So, I've been thinking ..

Posted by Errant

So, the other day I was thinking .. what if swine flu was not all about flu .. there is something bigger hidden for those who got the flu .. like in the future they'll grow a tiny pig's tale .. or they'll grow a bigger nose .. or worse .. their babies will have pigs genes !!!!
That's REALLY scary !!

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Today, I broke a record and I should apply to Guinness World Records ! I had my lesson prepared at home, application activity and everything .. I presented my lecture fully, students answered all questions perfectly right .. all of that in just 7 minutes !! I mean, I got out of class thinking .. oh, I finished 10 minutes early. I looked at my watch and wow .. only 7 minutes passed .. WTF ! How fast was that ?!

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I'm a cheese-a-holic ! My food choice is dependent totally on Cheeeeeeeeeese :) Fresh mozzarella is my favorite! Everyone around me knows that I have a unique penchant for cheesiness .. I add cheese to everything I eat .. and it can't get any yummier !! That's not news .. well .. the question here is .. my boobs didn't get any bigger !!

I mean, they say that eating alotta cheese makes your boobs get bigger .. NOT that I'm interested .. but I'm just saying it's not happening to me .. no matter how much cheese I'm eating ..

** ** **

Have a breathtaking day everyone :)

15 comments

Butter With Almonds On Top

Posted by Errant

Dear Creepy Guy at the mall,

You're so damn creepy .. you'll haunt me in my dreams tonight ..

So, creepy man, I was enjoying my ice cream cone and your lazer-like eyes were popping out of your head which really made my cousin laugh hysterically .. but as for me I felt twitchy and goose bumps all over .. especially when I, from the corner of eye, spotted you staring with your mouth open .. was it the ice cream you desired? or something else .. you creepy, creepy man?!

.. and then seeing my cousin laughing at your face boldly, you still had the guts to smile back and wink .. I mean for the love of God ! that made me so uncomfortable, your attitude was bugging the hell outta me so I decided to leave the table, the ice cream .. and I forgot one of my plastic bags I was holding next to that table .. you followed us and held the door open for me .. Hello ! Creepy ! I don't expect my boyfriend to hold the door open for me .. What the fuck! .. I shrugged my shoulders noncommittally and stride out .. and surprisingly enough, you still got a ball or two to follow us with the bag I forgot .. and handing it to me wearing the biggest smile ever on your face .. I'm sorry I didn't smile back at you .. the look I gave you was quite expressive .. you hesitated to say something and then my cousin took the bag from your hand ..

.. that was not enough creepy man, right? .. You kept following us but we didn't notice til I was taking the escalators down and I felt as if someone is touching my head from the back .. oh, guess what? It was your creepy face .. Right then, I was immobile with shock for a second .. but you deserved what you got afterword .. I screamed at the top of my voice “Fuck off CREEPY!” and every body around was curious to see this creepy man !!

I know at that moment you wished the earth could open and swallow you up ..

.. and when I got home .. and emptied that bag I found a paper with your phone number in AND your creepy name .. you're such a talentless freak !

With hate,
Errant

** ** **

It was my fault though .. to begin with ..

Girls, never ever eat ice cream in front of creepy guys .. you'll be in a big trouble .. I mean for the sake of your health .. your mental being .. and your survival .. don't ..

11 comments

Relationship ..

Posted by Errant

What a silence, when you are here. What

a helish silence.

You sit and I sit.

You lose and I lose.

JANOS PILINSZKY

6 comments

3rd Degree Burn

Posted by Errant

I wanted to set our hotel room on fire.

You were no longer around, no longer shouting at me.

I was no longer shouting over you.

Your ring lies at the bottom of the toilet.

My heart lies inside the pipes.

I want to set us on fire so that at least,

We die together, Romeo.

I don’t know about you, but I seldom break hearts.

I seldom say “goodbye, good you, good me. We did our best. Didn’t we?”

I have never broken an engagement.

If you get angry and slam the door so that the cheap photographs

Of happy couples

Flutter off the walls

Be a gentleman and kiss me on the forehead

So I have something to tell our daughter when she grows up and asks

“Where’s daddy?”

I have an answer:

He is in that hotel room

with a lady

that's not your mother.

I read this poem in a blog that I can't remember now .. I can't even recall the name of the writer .. but it touched me alot ..

5 comments

Celebrities I had a crush on

Posted by Errant

Back in the days I used to have crush on thses dudes .. I used to cllect their pictures like there's no tomorrow .. hehe .. I got over most of them now .. not all of them though ..

Here comes Errant's list ..

Tarkan .. yeah baby .. his look is mesmerizing ..

Wa2el Kafury .. His waterfall-like hair is so delicious ! so threatening !

Dammit .. Shayne Ward's voice makes wonders .. and this tattoo over his chest tortures me too bloody hard !

Now, as for Wentworth Miller .. It was a group crush .. lol .. I and all of my friends can't help but to go ooh and aah after each Prison Break episode .. As for me, whenever I see those cold scary eyes .. nerves begin to jump inside of me ..

Adam Levine.. Those eyes just shoot fire inside of me .. irresistible .. irresistible !

When Enrique Iglesias sings, I get all these different kinds of emotions heating up .. He can touch my unduly hidden senses ..

Jude Law's naughty naughty eyes get me like nothing else ! These handsome, sure-of-his-own-charm looks kills ..

Back then, all girls were head over heels for Back Street Boys. No matter how cool this boy band is .. I wanted to be different, so I went for N'Sync .. they were quite cool as well .. My boy was :

Justin Timberlake .. He still got it .. I love his style and clothes so much .. his voice, oh .. so beautiful, you want to put your ears directly to his mouth .. and not to forget his hilarious sense of humor !!

Keanu Reeves? Are you serious? .. haha .. maybe it's the Matrix mystery .. honestly I can't think of one reason I can name why Keanu?

** ** **

If you think a bit about it .. Errant has something for the eyes .. to be precise ..

Ummm .. Errant, seriously, get a life !

4 comments

The Moon-Drunk Clown and His Silver Lady

Posted by Errant

I'm desperate for a person with whom I can talk freely without feeling lumps and bumps whatsoever .. with him I don't want to feel a teensy bit of nervousness or discomfort leaping up ..

A total stranger ..

A stranger who is a good listener, meaning; who gives no advices, who agrees with everything I say, who keeps eye contact and interest in what I'm saying no matter what ..

I want to tell him the story of my life .. but from my own point of view .. ُThe story of my feelings .. I want to tell him all the secrets that I kept from everybody .. I want to tell him about all the people I pretend to like, but I , honest to God, believe that they don't worth the price of air .. I want to mention names ..

I want to tell him about my irritating wonders about myself and life in general .. like, why most often when I wake up and take off my pajamas, I find my boobs outside the bra .. one or both .. Do I have freakishly rebellious boobs? Do I move a lot while sleeping? Or it's just that I wear wrong size of bras?

I want to tell him about my deepest weakness that I hide from everybody, even myself .. My night's latest hour secret .. My most inner fears .. worries .. love .. dreams .. and hopes ..

Everything that lay coiled in my head ..

I want to tell him about all my embarrassing moments .. about all my flaws ..

All my secret adventures .. The happiest moments I could steal from life ..

I want to prattle for ages .. about everything .. and every sensation .. over a stem of grapes dangled from his hand above my lips, so I can reach up and bite them one by one .. on a comfy love seat .. umm .. dim lighting probably ..

... and then when I'm done talking .. I want to click my fingers and .. “Poooof” ..

He's gone !

12 comments

He will never know, and I will never know ..

Posted by Errant

Today in class, while babbling at my students about Ophelia; a crazy girl who'd drowned herself in a stream because some crazy prince wouldn't fuck her, suddenly, while 45 pairs of eyes were staring at me, I felt dizzy and everything in front of me turned into splashes of different colors ..

All the lines disappeared and everything turned into a confusing blur of shapes .. quite what contemporary art students are taught to sketch on their panels.

The film of my life that runs into my head cracked up in front of me like a shot .. I was left in a randomness of a fucking nowhere ..

I felt a moment of nothing .. no sounds, no movements, no smells ..

I freaked out, what if I fell in front of those 45 pairs of eyes ?! What if they ran to check if I was just fainting or if I, actually, died ?!

I got it together in seconds, and I carried on the babbling as if nothing had happened, but my mind was busy .. the whole day .. what had really happened in those moments .. was it a minute? a second? less than a second? I dunno ... time just melted away .. It felt like ages to me .. but students faces were the same .. Did time stopped suddenly and only I felt it?

It was quite a moment!

or was it just that I don't eat much vitamins and stuff so I had a case of low blood pressure ?

This is scary. I don't want to fall in front of people .. or faint .. I'd spend the rest of my life wondering what had happened to me those moments?

I need to concentrate on what I'm eating .. seriously .. If mom knew about this I'd be in such a big trouble. I'll just shut up and sup up some honey every morning ..

Just ...

Squeeze Me !

4 comments

It's time to start the countdown ..

Posted by Errant

It's coming out .. It's coming out ...

Or else, this egg would be smashed on his head !!

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do ... do, do, .. do, do, ... do, do, ...

1 comments

Love with Sin on Top

Posted by Errant

I was flipping throw channels the other day, and a religious scholar was talking and he caught my attention by what he was saying, so I stopped for seconds to listen to him ..

He was talking about “Being in Love” and how a person who is in love, is highly rewarded from God! Just like al mujahed or something like that ..

I was like, seriously??

He believes that a person in love, is indeed in great pain and suffering ..

The feelings of longing, the odd sensation of confusion, the twinge of jealousy, the biting of worry and stress, the stitch of burning, the fever of yearning, the canyon of grief that you keep bottled up inside ...

All these kinds of feelings that bubble over whenever you're in love .. requires patience .. and no reward is greater than patience reward ..

To sum up, he believes that, while you're in love, experiencing all these kinda feelings .. it's like you're being tested, and if you were patient .. you're gonna be rewarded ..

Can you believe that? It has never ever occurred to me like that ..